How to Artfully Cull Your Facebook Friends List

By: Stephanie Crawford  | 
frustrated laptop user
Do your Facebook friends have you pulling your hair out? Check out our tips for getting your Friends list under control.
iStockphoto/Thinkstock

Facebook makes it easy to build your social network — sometimes too easy. With very little effort, you can end up with an unmanageable Friends list. Over time, though, you might want to trim your Friends list to do any or all of the following:

  • Eliminate bloat in your feed.
  • Avoid posts that are inappropriate or offensive.
  • Dodge posts covering certain religious or political views.
  • Limit your information to a more restricted group of people.

Whatever your reasons for pruning your Friends list, you have a few options, whether you want to cut people altogether or limit which friends see certain information.

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Before you start culling, decide whether you want to notify your friends. One option is to not say anything about your plan and start cutting. Alternatively, you might choose to announce your plans in a status update or a personal message to everyone in your Friends list.

If you don't announce your plans, people might not notice the change unless they view your profile. This is because Facebook doesn't notify users when you remove them from a Friends list. You might decide to announce your plans, though, to prepare yourself for questions from those who do notice the change. Here are some tips for composing such an announcement:

  • Be tactful and consistent with your message.
  • Choose wording that doesn't make your friends feel awkward. Don't say, "I just have too many friends," or "I don't like your posts." Try a more diplomatic approach, such as, "I am having difficulty keeping up with all my connections on Facebook."
  • Explain that this is what you feel you need now, though it might not be how you feel in the future. Don't say, "I just don't want to follow some of you anymore." Say, "I've changed how I want to use my Facebook account right now, which means I'll be cutting back on the number of people I'm following."
  • Consider including an option to request staying connected, or offer alternate contact information such as your e-mail address or phone number.
  • Ask a couple of trusted friends (whom you're planning to keep on your list) to read the message and give you feedback before you post it.

With your plan in place, you should also consider how to cull your Friends list and how to limit the information someone can see. 

Tips for Managing Your Facebook Friends List

With a few tips, you can manage your Friends list on Facebook. These can help you control both the list itself and which friends can see what information:

Set up rules for who makes the cut. You may already have some ideas of why you accept certain friend requests and ignore others. Put some thought into what rules you want to follow to make that determination from now on. You'll want to use these rules as a guide when culling your current list.

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Group friends into custom lists to avoid a one-size-fits-all approach. You can create additional lists that are subsets of your existing Friends lists. Use these lists to filter certain content, either in individual posts or in your overall privacy settings. You can create and manage these lists on the Friends management page while you're signed in to Facebook. You're the only one who can see the titles and users in your custom lists.

To create a custom Friends list, go to your home page. You should see your feed on the right and a menu on the left. On that menu, click Friends, which might be hidden under See More. Select Custom Lists and then Create List. Name your list and hit Confirm before entering the names of the friends you want to add. You can edit the list and remove or add new names when you want. /\r\n/

Use built-in or custom lists to set your default privacy levels. When you edit your overall privacy settings, you can customize the settings for each type of content you share, from photos and feed posts to the individual items in your profile. By default, you can select from the following options for each item: Everyone, Friends Only and Friends of Friends. You can apply your custom Friends list by selecting Customize instead, choosing specific people that should or shouldn't be able to see that content and using the names of your lists in place of individual people.

Limit content from the feed. There are a few ways to hide content from your feed. On individual posts, you can click the three-dots menu along the right side and hide the post. You will still see other posts from that person. You can use that same menu to snooze a person for 30 days or to unfollow them. If you snooze them, you will see their posts again after the time period. If you unfollow them, you will still be friends, but you won't see their posts on your feed anymore. 

Use your custom lists to filter content as you add it. Look for the lock icon when posting status updates, links, photos, videos or any other content. You'll also find the icon when editing settings for each photo album. Facebook doesn't indicate to other users that you have limited the content; it only shows it or hides it based on the filter. Then, like in the default privacy described above, select Customize and use your custom list names to choose who will be able to see that content.

Limit that "left out" feeling. Because Facebook is all about social networking, it's possible that word will get out about something you said to one friend that another couldn't see. Have a plan so you can respectfully handle any questions that arise, and remember to stick to your rules.

Consider preventing certain people from finding you. Facebook gives you the option to block certain people from finding your Facebook account, and, at the same time, block you from seeing their content. 

Blocking Users in Facebook

Sometimes removing a user from your Friends list in Facebook doesn't go far enough when you're trying to avoid contact with that person. This is especially true if you feel you're being harassed or bullied by a user. Or you might just want to hide from someone for a while. Block Lists can help you take this extra step.

You can block several things on Facebook: users, messages, app invites, apps, event invites and pages. For any users you block, Facebook does the following:

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  • Removes the user from your Friends list (if applicable)
  • Prevents you and that user from finding each other when searching other users
  • Prevents you and that user from viewing any part of each other's content
  • Prevents you and that user from seeing comments and likes on mutual friends' pages

Keep in mind, Facebook does not control any connections you might have through third-party applications in Facebook or elsewhere on the internet.

To view and edit Block Lists, click on your profile avatar on the top right corner. click Settings & privacy, which will open a new page. Go to Privacy, and then click Blocking. Click edit on Restricted List, Block users, Block messages, Block app invites, Block event invites, Block apps or Block Pages. There, you can either add people to the blocked list by typing in their names or see who you have already blocked. You can unblock them from this menu as well. You can also go to someone's profile and click the three-dot menu and block them there. 

When you create the block for an existing friend, Facebook will ask you to confirm you want to block them. This window will also lay out what a block means and gives suggestions on what other steps you can take, such as unfollowing them. 

While a user block is active, from that user's point of view, you no longer exist on Facebook. In addition, that user doesn't exist from your point of view, either, though you remain in control over the block. You can reverse a block, but you will have to Add Friend if you want to reconnect again. Also, keep in mind that if you unblock someone, you won't be able to block the same user again for 48 hours.

When blocking users, as when hiding content with custom Friends lists, be prepared if someone asks about your actions. If it's someone you're trying to avoid online and don't see in your everyday life, you might want to avoid responding to any retaliating e-mails or contact attempts at other websites. If it's someone that could be a threat offline, especially a physical threat, contact your local law enforcement agency for advice on what to do.

Lots More Information

  • Facebook. "Help Center, Friends: New Friends Page." (July 11, 2011) 
  • Facebook. "Help Center, Privacy: Blocking people." (July 11, 2011)